Emmanuel

Funny how the Season that is most consciously tailored to draw our thoughts to the Savior of the world is possibly the least likely to allow us any time to spend with Him. This is no ones fault but our own, and I'm not pointing fingers - except at myself. I don't know if I get caught up in the busyness of the holidays and somehow think that Silent Nights and warm fuzzies are going to float me, like they are some limited-time-only substitute for digging into God's Word and hanging out with Jesus and talking with Him. But I do it almost every year. I run around, talking about Him, singing about Him, writing cute little phrases about Him in newsletters and cards - all the while ignoring Him. Sad.

I've been raised by Godly parents. I grew up in the Evangelical church. I've known the Christmas story for as long as I can remember, and have been an angel in too many Christmas programs to count. I've heard a hundred bazillion times about the irony of the King of Kings making his debut as a baby in a manger. And it never actually clicked in my brain until just a few days ago. I was making my regular Rapid-Hillville commute, just listening to Jars of Clay sing "Love came down at Christmas...", passing my favorite spot on Hwy 16, where you can see out over the Needles and Harney and so much of God's glory in the form of trees and stone and the thought occurred to me, (as if I'm the first person to get this, right?) "Wait a second...so the God that spoke this phenomenal landscape into existence is the same God that initiated His plan to save the human race in a barn in a crowded city in the middle of the night? How much sense does THAT make?" *ding! ding! ding!* Genius, Marci. Pure genius. And it only took you 25 year.

It is Christmas Eve. It is after midnight. It is snowing (a direct answer to fervent prayer.) And I have a two day old baby* to feed. Merry Christmas.

*Not my own baby. I thought I should clarify this for any newcomers, or people who were suddenly thinking, "Wow! It HAS been a while since I talked to Marc..."

Winter Cleaning

It is the end of the year and with it comes my ever-increasingly-compulsive urge to "clean out" my life. As if it were a closet. Which, in a quite accurate analogy, it sort of is. While shuffling through piles of "things" I don't need or use anymore, I ran across this fairly neglected blog you are now reading. I thought to myself, "Hmm. I started that silly web page journal my senior year of high school. Life has changed a bit since then. I've changed a bit since then. I don't think I really have the need to keep a random, mostly anonymous, and probably very, very, small group of readers posted on the ins and outs of my life anymore. Besides, anyone that cares need only ask, and I'm happy to tell them what I'm up to, and what God is up to these days." So I added "Write minimally sentimental farewell entry and do away with blog/website for good" to my to-do list.

A few days later I was reading something. A newspaper article. An webzine essay. The back of the cereal box. I don't actually remember what it was, just that it was very well written. I realized that not only have I all but quit "reading" (for anything but necessity) but I've quit writing as well. I spent a good part of my childhood thinking I would be a writer when I grew up, and now I almost never write at all. Which then led me to remember that the whole reason I went out and got myself my own little corner of the internet when I was seventeen was simply so that I could have a little outlet for more writing (okay...well, that, AND I really had a crush on this guy that set up web pages...so that came in handy too). The fact that the page served as a bit of a news feed for my shenanigans over the last seven or so years was merely a latent function. As for the many poorly written entries, I apologize to anyone upset by this. (I know we all have to put up with poor writing, day in and day out -especially if you frequent myspace- ...and I strongly believe we shouldn't do it more often than absolutely necessary...)

All that to say that I've decided to keep the blog for the time being. (I moved it from the "throw" pile to the "find someplace to put it, and throw it out next year if I haven't used it more by then" pile.) I plan to reintroduce my original intentions to practice improved writing skills. A little personal challenge of sorts. What this means for you, is: if you DO continue to check up on the humble little blog, on occasion, I hope to be a little breath of fresh time-killer-reading air on a forum too often filled with bad grammar (wince) and emotional rants about online relationships gone bad, and so many other kinds of nonsense.

Until next time,
Peace, Love, and left-over Turkey.

These are the good ol' days...

I am an incurably nostalgic person. I can look back on the vast majority of my life and think, "Wow. Those were some good times..." Every once in a while I read back to old entries on my old web page (still accesible at www.geocities.com/marciebens) just to see what I was thinking six years ago today...three years ago today. It is not just for the sake of looking back at chapters of my life that I have romanticized into being better than the present...it is mainly to see how faithful God has been. I like to read about the things that I was worrying about, fretting about, stressing over...and then realize that most of those things worked out just fine. And sometimes it is good to know that six years from now, or even six months from now, I will look back at most of the things that cause me worry today and realize that they were not worth loosing sleep over. God is good.

Tonight was our annual Young Life banquet. It was also my first official day on Young Life staff. Interesting. I am excited. That is no lie. I am truly very excited about what God is going to do in Hill City. But I am scared. I of course have all kinds of doubts and fears. I am nervous about "being in the ministry." What if I crash and burn? I have a lot of people watching. I have run over all the right answers concerning those fears a million times. I know they are not valid. But they do cross my mind now and again. I am learning a lot. I learning that the more I learn, the more I learn I need to learn. If I happen to cross your mind, feel free to pray for me. I'll take all of that stuff I can get :)

Hit the ground running...

My days as a professionally unemployed person officially came to an end last week. The month without the burden of a paycheck flew by all too quickly. Upon explaining to friends, family, co-workers, clinic patients and the checkout guy at the grocery store that I was quitting my clinic job in August and not starting my Young Life job until October, most replied, "And what are you going to do with a month off? You're going to be bored to tears!." Well, to all and any who lost sleep over the fear of my being under-occupied, you can flush the Snooze-aid.

In the last five weeks, I (in more or less chronological order):

• Sat on my front porch and drank tea and watched the rain fall until all hours of the night
• Began training for the Rushmore marathon
• Wrecked a mountain bike in North Dakota/sprained my ankle/gave up training for the Rushmore marathon
• Had my wisdom teeth removed
• Went to Denver on a bus with 40 teenagers to see a Rockies game and hang out at Elich's
• Innertubed down the Niobrara River
• Moved out of my apartment
• Lived nomad-style out of a suitcase (4 hotels, 3 houses, a cabin, a retirement center and a church)
• Bought a mountain bike
• Waded in Rapid Creek
• Watched the fountains at the Belagio at midnight
• Swam in the ocean
• Met Mickey Mouse
• Hiked, hiked, and hiked some more
• Read a few good books
• Spent some much needed time just sitting in coffee shops and brushing up on my long-neglected love of writing
• Spent too much money at Borders
• Fulfilled my life-long dream of being a Barista
• Substitute taught at the high school
• Met at least 100 new, wonderful people

It's been loads of fun, but I am becoming anxious to get going with all this new stuff in my life right now. I'm pretty sure I haven't experienced this much change at one time since...ever. It's a little nuts. I have that sort of terrified/excited/adrenaline-rush feeling you get just before you try something crazy, like flying Kamakazi (sp?) style down a single track on a bike. (Which, in the past, didn't work out so well for me...which is where my analogy sort of breaks down...but, um, anyway...) It's going to be great. I often think, "Whoohoo! I have no idea what I'm doing!!!" But whatever happens, it's going to be good, right? I mean, it's not necessary all going to be fun, but it's all going to be good, in the long run. (Which is my philosophy about travel...which is an entirely different journal entry...) I prayer regularly (and selfishly) that God would fill my life with adventure. He hasn't let me down yet.

Vitamin D is underrated...

In my last post, I promised to return on the next rainy day I had to spend in a coffee shop. I am in a coffee shop, but it is not raining. On the contrary...it is well on it's way to being a 90 degree day. And while I tend to favor rainy days, I must say that it has been one of the most beautiful, sunny, warm spring weekends ever created. This is mostly due to that fact that we didn't get a late freeze to kill all the lilacs and apple blossoms this year...so every breath you take is laced with their fragrance right now. Simply wonderful. Anyhow. To catch you up, as promised....

The job: In October I will go on part-time YoungLife mission staff in Hill City. This essentially means that I will be doing pretty much what I have already been doing for the last five years, only now I will be getting paid for it, and I'll have more time to do it. I'm not sure this is fair, actually. It seems like I'm getting a heck of deal. I mean, I was pretty much happy doing it for free. My only gripe was that my job just seemed to be getting in the way, in terms of time to commit to hanging out with kids. But that has been remedied. I guess the pay is just a bonus. What this also means, is that I get to move to Hill City. And spend the other half of my time working at Granite Sports. So pretty much, all I need is a giant dog, a bicycle, and tree house and I'll be the happiest girl you know.

It is far to lovely outside to sit here by the window any longer. I must get out there in the sunshine. So I'll fill you in on the trip some other time. I'm out.

Hola, Mi Amigas!

Hey kids! This is for the few faithful that are left out there. Those two or three people that still check my blog, periodically, even though I only post 3 times a year anymore. I just dropped in tonight to say that I have plenty to catch you up on some rainy day when I'm sitting in a coffee shop with a public use computer. Since the last time I was here I have traveled the world (or at least a small part of it) and gotten a job that actually does have something to do with my expensive college degree. You know I'd much rather just sit in a coffee shop and tell you about it than type about it, so feel free to give me a call if you find yourself in the vicinity on a rainy afternoon. I know a good coffee shop or two...

Just a note...

GOOD: They tore down the BurgerKing on Mt. Rushmore Rd. and are building a Sonic Drive-In in it's place.

BAD: They moved two old houses on Mt. Rushmore Rd. and are building yet another Starbucks in their place.