Now, the bizarre thing about this is that it sounds like contentment, right? But it's wasn't. Because even in that moment, when I was at a loss to name even one thing that could have possibly made me happier, there was this intense, unnamed longing...deep within my soul. This beauty that is the Black Hills in the rain, which is truly one of the most beautiful things in all of creation, is almost painful in it's beholding.
But why? I believe it's because this kind of beauty is a sliver...just the slightest, faint whisper of the beauty that is Christ. And we were designed to experience it in its fulness. So this whisper calls us back to what our souls know we were made for...but can't quite get at just yet.
I went to the Banff and Telluride mountain film festivals in the last few weeks (I mean...I saw them on tour...in Rapid. Sadly, I have never actually been to Banff or Telluride.) and saw dozen of really cools films about people who are seeking beauty and adventure, and solitude and community, and justice and salvation, and adrenaline and peace, by all kinds of means. These people are relentless and inspiring in their commitment to and pursuits of these things. And the common factor in all these stories is that these people are never satisfied. They're never finished. They work hard and make sacrifices, and eventually reach their goals. But they don't get there and call it good. They get there, and they throw their hands in the air exuberantly, and cheer and cry...and then they immediately start planning their next endeavor. Because God put inside of us these longings for adventure and beauty and life-to-the-full. Because HE is adventure and beauty and life to the full. And we just can't get enough of those, because we can't get enough of HIM, whether we realize that that's what we're hungry for or not.
So I don't doubt for a minute that we should pursue these things, because there is sanctification in the pursuit. When we just feel like we can't get enough of traveling, or climbing rocks, or slacklining, or enjoying a good meal with good friends, or listening to an incredible new album over and over, or staring out at my valley through a downpour, or making art, or emptying ourself by serving someone else...it's because it's in our bones. This thirst is pointing us towards the one who will eventually be the fulfillment of all we've ever been thirsty for. And when sanctified...I think these things become acts of worship.
"The whole of the good Christian life is a holy longing. What you desire ardently, as yet you do not see...By withholding the vision, God extends longing; through longing he extends the soul, by extending he makes room in it. Let us long because we are to be filled...that is our life, to be exercised by longing. - St. Augustine
~Proverbs 13:12; Psalm 63 ~
