What's for lunch? I don't know.

I adore my job. Not because I have the rare privilege of assisting in the occasional transmetatarsal amputation, or even for the virtue-cultivating experience of daily suppressing the desire to go on loud rants about the evils of Medicare. I mean, those things are great and all. But mostly I love my job because I meet so many people that I would otherwise probably have no contact with. And if that were the case, I would really be missing out.

One of my favorites is a patient we'll call "Susan." I only see Susan once every 60 days, when Medicare will pay for her periodic diabetic foot check. She is mentally handicapped. A paraplegic. In her mid-thirties. Always accompianied by her case worker. And always happy to see me.

We have essentially the same conversation every 60 days.

"Susan! How are you today?"
"Very good. It's good to see you. How are you doing? What's your name?"
"It was still Marci, last time I checked. And I'm doing great."
"Oh hi Kathy! I will call you Kathy. Hi Kathy!"
"Wait! I thought you were Kathy!?!"
"No! I'm SUSAN! You are Kathy. Hi Kathy. How are you Kathy?"
"I'm just super!"
"What's for lunch? I don't know. What's for lunch? I don't know."
"Ummm. I'm going to have...donuts. What are you going to have?"
"Hot dogs. We're having hot dogs. What are you going to have?"
"Ummm....spinach enchiladas."
"What's for lunch? I don't know. What's for lunch? Do you like hot dogs?"
"Only at campfires and baseball games. Do you like hot dogs?"
"Yes. I LOVE hot dogs. It's so good to see you Kathy."
"Well, it's good to see you too!"
"Hot dogs are made out of carrots and peas."
"Really. Is that so? Where did you hear that?"
"Bible study. Hi Kathy. Hi Kathy."

Last week was even better.

Enter the doctor:

(Doctor) “Hi Susan!”
(Susan) “Hi Patty!”
(me) I thought I was Patty!”
(Susan) “I’m Patty. You’re Kathy. Hi Patty. Hi Kathy.”
(Doctor) “Hi Patty. How are your feet doing these days?”
(Susan)“Just fine. I got my nails painted. What’s for lunch? I don't know."
(me)"Hot dogs. I'm going to eat 10 of them."
(Susan)"Hot dogs? Yuck! I hate hot dogs. It's so good to see you Kathy.”
(me)"You too, Patty."

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Anyway. I'm headed off to Chicago for the weekend to learn about foot deformities and shoe inserts and the like. I get to go the cadaver lab again this year. I'm pretty stoked about that. Nothing wierd about a bunch of severed feet laying out on tables in a fancy hotel ball room. Nope. Nothing weird at all. ;) Have a nice weekend.