My Grandpa died on Friday night. My grandpa that I had lunch with on Thursdays. My grandpa that never missed a single one of my concerts. My grandpa that taught me how to play harmonica, and then let me play with him in church. I've been blessed. I've never lost someone very close to me before. But now, I wonder if I heard too many lectures in college about the grief process. I have this usually undesireable ability to disconnect myself from my emotions and view them objectively. This can make it tough to get past the "how I'm supposed to feel" and actually deal with the "how I feel." It' strange really. It's strange to lose someone so suddenly, as I'm sure most of you can attest too. Hmmm. Well, that's about all I have to say about that right now. More later, as usual.
2 comments:
My heart goes out to you.
My grandma was the only person in my family who really loved me and cared for me, and then, without anyone telling me, she died, and I found out it was cancer, three months later.
I was closest to her of all my family. The pain was hurtful, but I rested in the fact that she was with Jesus. It's ok to cry Marci. You deserve it.
marci-
for a while it always felt like our lives paralleled in a way. then... i broke pattern and got pregnant, married, had baby #2 etc...
oddly though, my grandpa died on wednesday. as of yet, i haven't figured out how to post about it. i want to do him justice and i want everyone to understand how much it hurts... but words fail so often and i don't just want to package it prettily. these things cannot be packaged and tied with bows.
i'm sorry to hear of your loss. i'm so glad you have all the memories.
natalie
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