The First Amendment, Null & Void...Because Mom Says So

As you may have noticed, it's the end of the year. And everyone who's anyone who writes for a blog or a webzine or a newspaper is busy making lists of the "Best Of" and the "Worst Of" and the Most Outrageous Of" for 2008. I normally shy away from jumping on the bandwagon, but I love lists. So I decided to make my own. It's not a "best of" or "worst of". No, I decided the greatest way to wrap up another year was simply to make a list of...

"Topics Banned From the Eben Family's 2008 Christmas Dinner Table"

I should explain that this list is one that is made by my mother, and is formed comprehensively. As the meal, and lively conversation, takes place, my mother continues to add to the list as necessary, and as she sees fit. Basically any subjects that would incite any kind of conflict whatsoever are added to the list. There were only four forbidden topics this year, which either indicates that my siblings and I have become more civil, less intelligent, abnormally non-confrontational, or altogether nonverbal. I'm hoping it's the first. Anyway, here's the list:

#1) Jesus (specifically, how to best share his love with rock climbers)
#2) Politics (specifically, the impending Obama presidency)
#3) Music (specifically, Sufjan Stevens and his musical genius or lack-there-of)
and...
#4) High Fructose Corn Syrup (I'm not kidding)

There you have it. I, of course, will probably find it necessary to write more about the beginning of the new year, because I'm sentimental like that, and because I've taken a few days off and have a little more time than normal to write. So, stay tuned.