Nothing in particular...

Natalie just posted 100 interesting things about herself on her website. I read them all and thought, "Well now, that's a novel idea. I think I'll do the same." And then I realized that I'm feeling too lazy right now to do that, and instead I'm more in the mood to just write little comments about each of her 100 things. While it might spur lively webversation between her and I, it would probably prove to be rather boring for the rest of you, most of whom probably don't know Natalie.

So, in other news... I'm going attempt to make it to power-yoga again at 5:30 tomorrow morning. Don't be deceived. I know that the phrase "5:30am power yoga" evokes certain mental images of self-disciplined, pulled-together, trim and toned morning women with, what appears to be, a lack of ribs (how else do bend like that?). Such is not the case. Not my case, at least. That is the image I would like to live up to, but really, I'm just a wannabe. I barely drag myself out of bed at 4:50am one morning per week, and stumble into class, half-conscious. By the last 10 minutes of class, the cool-down period, when you lie in corpse pose and "clear your mind of worries and tension," I'm either struggling to stay awake, or just getting started prioritizing my worries and tensions for the day.

Last Thursday the instructor said, "Close your eyes, and go to wherever you want to be." So I took myself to Greece. I was sitting in the sunshine, among red potted geraniums on the roof-top patio of my whitewashed, blue-shuttered house stacked with hundreds of other matching houses on the side of a hill in a dense, car-free island village, looking out over blue seas. It was eutopic for about three and a half seconds. And then I thought, "Why am I here? How am I paying for this gorgeous little house? If I'm blowing all my money, just kicking it here on the Mediterranean, how am I going to pay for grad school? Am I going to go grad school? When? Should I be in school now? Shouldn't I at least be working? This is far too perfect to be responsible. Should I even be here? Did everyone at home think I shouldn't be here? Was this a bad idea? Should I have stayed in Rapid? Is my little sister mad that I bailed on my middle-school girls just when she became a middleschool girl? Who took my job at the clinic? Will I get my job back if I go home? Do I need it back? Do I miss home? What if something happens to my grandparents while I'm out of the country? What if something happens to anyone while I'm out of the country? "

So I came back to poweryoga at the gym in Rapid, because going to work was suddenly not seeming like a stressful activity at all. So, see? I'm not what you think of when you think of "5:30am poweryoga." Not at all. If I can do it, so can you. Except that I maybe can't do it tomorrow. It's almost midnight. I'm out. Night.

"Adventures in Academia"-Episode #326

A little brain teaser for you problem solving types.

Facts:
#1) You are five credits short of receiving a bachelors degree from State University A
#2) You are currently registered for two classes at State University A
#3) You wish to drop both classes at State University A due to scheduling and commuting conflicts, and instead...
#4) You wish to enroll in two correspondence classes from State University B (referred to State University B distance education enrollment and application website)
#5) To drop all SU-A classes, you must officially un-enroll as a student at SU-A (referred to Dawn in the registrars office)
#6) You may not graduate from a university from which you have unenrolled (referred to Pam in enrollment office)
#7) You may not drop or add any SU-A classes because you have a block on your WebAdvisor (online registration, bill paying, etc.) because you did not pay your tuition for the two classes you do not intend to take but were not able to drop because you have not filled out an "un-enrollment application" for SU-A (referred to Candice in financial services office, who referred to Dawn in registars office who referred to Pam in enrollment office who referred back to Dawn in registrars office)
#8) To take classes from any other university but A your final semester, you must have written permission from the dean of the college of your major (referred to Holly in College of Arts and Sciences, who referred to Dawn in regisrars office)
#9) SU-B may not enroll you in any classes because of the WebAdvisor block (referred to "Student Help Line" at SU-B, referred to Pam in enrollment)
#10) Apparently Pam, Candice, Dawn, Holly and SU-B are forbidden to communicate directly
#11) The official drop/add day is Thursday. You have less than 48 hours to solve this problem.

Your education hangs in the balance. If you succeed, you walk in May and receive your college diploma. If you fail, you go to jail (i.e., another "extra" semester at Black Hills State.) Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Best of luck to all of you.

Two beautiful things:

#1) Last Sunday I went for a walk in the woods on this mountain bike trail that takes you kind of south of the monastary and branches off in about 8 different directions. I was meandering along and stumbled upon a lone Christmas tree - all decked out in tinsel and garland and handmade ornaments. A little worse for wear, but still hanging in there in the middle of January, in the middle of the woods.

#2) Yesterday I was second-hand shopping with Emily. We were scrounging for costume jewelry and whatever else struck our fancy at the Cornerstone Thrift Store. The place has little funding and just moved in some shelving units donated from another store that closed recently. All the shoes are now nicely paired up on shelves that are labeled "Non Fiction," "Romance," and "Novels."

I guess you could say I'm easily amused. Perhaps that means I'm simple minded. Regardless, I think I've got an advantage over people who don't care.

I regret to inform you...I am a closet pacifist.

I'm not typically a combative person. I don't like conflict, especially with people I love, and I've discovered that one of the best ways to avoid conflict is to keep your mouth shut when you disagree with people. This not always right, easy, healthy, or honest, but it keeps people happy. So if peaceful, relatively shallow relationships are what you're going for, it gets the job done. Unfortunately, despite my natural inclinations, I strongly desire to be honest and sincere and do the right thing - which can often lead to tumultous, though much deeper, relationships.

I have a professor who makes this statement: "Relationships create roles. Roles create responsibilities." (I tried to disprove this theory for quite a while, and hurt my mom very much in the process. I've since realized he's right. Unless we are hermits, we inherantly have inescapable relational responsibilities.) These responsibilities sometimes require us to openly counter the opinions or actions of the people we care about the most - (sometimes responsibility just sucks) not because they are just stupid, or because we are always right, but because sometimes we can just see things from a different perspective, or are the only ones who will buck up and tell them the truth.

Solomon said in Proverbs that wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy. So. that's my self-motivating essay for the week. I figured that if I published it somewhere, I would feel more obligated to act accordingly.

That's all. Thanks.

I won't lie to you...

it's been a tough weekend. A tough week. Even in the grand scheme of Marci things -my whole life - it's been one of the tougher ones. But through it, I have seen God's faithfulness, up close and personal. Just the way he sees our individual needs, in the moment, and meets them - meets us where we are...even if that's in the middle of the dark, or a bunch of crap, or our own self-loathing, it just blows my mind, every time. So anyway...what I started out today say was this: that if someone held a gun to my head and forced me to choose a theme song for my life...just one, I'd think I'd pick this one:

Blessed Be Your Name, by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be your name

"The Night the Road Won" (or, "Marci's Jeep Fantasies Crushed")

I come to you this evening, humbled. A woman whose pride has been wounded. I have been known, at times, to boast of my night-time four-wheeling escapades. And I boast, because in this game, that I like to refer to as "Geo/Aveo vs. long-neglected Black Hills National Forest Logging Road," (or "500 lb., cheaply-made city vehicle with ridiculously small tires vs. 'is that really even a road? ' ") I always win. But tonight folks, tonight...the tables were turned. Tonight was the night the road won. We tried. We kept trucking along, valiantly, despite some very large rocks, very deep ruts (puddles deceptively covered with a thin layer of ice) and Andrea nearly hyperventilating because of my mad tree dodging skills. Two and a half hours, 42 miles, and 3 different attempted routes. Three impassible routes. One completely dead-ended, with tree's so thick only a skinny hiker could have gotten through. Another had some random, very hostile looking, tire-slasher contraption embedded in the dirt from tree to tree, across the trail (and yet, completely unmarked as private property or anything of the sort,) and the third ended at a small drop off with a 6 foot boulder at the bottom. No matter how determined I was, there was no way I could force the little Aveo could go any further. I accepted defeat, hung my head and (*sigh*) turned back. Not much to show for the night except a decent sized battle wound paint scratch on the drivers-side door, and probably a "slightly scuffed" under-carriage. Tomorrow, I intend on obtaining a map of Forest Service four-wheeling trails and old logging roads, so that I can see where I was and why exactly the stupid psuedo-roads didn't go anywhere. Seriously, roads that go nowhere? That's like very mean practical joke.

Well, we arrived back home safely. I don't want to sound like too sore of a loser, so I will add that it was a splendid adventure. Or at least I thought so. Andrea's a real trooper, but I think the evening took years off of her life. Kudos to her for tolerating my hair-brained schemes. With that, I'm out. Night.

The party's over.

Back to the daily grind. I love my job, but having time off makes me realize just how much fun NOT working can be. Ah well. Eating is great too, so as long as I feel that way about it, I'll keep working. It will also be good to have less time to spend money - an activity I've grown quite accustomed to in the last couple weeks. Well, I of course have plenty of amusing, clever, wise things to say tonight, but I must get a long to bed, so you'll all have to wait until a different time. Au revoir.

I'm exhausted. I've crammed as much Christmas-break, catch-'em-before-they're-gone, power-socializing in as possible. So many good friends came home and I desperately want to see them all before they go back to their respective schools, jobs, countries, etc. I have not succeeded entirely. There just wasn't enough time, and I leave tomorrow morning to go to Avon to visit my grandparents and 166 cousins, so there were a few people that I missed. Ah. Such is life.

It's been a good couple of days though. Yesterday AJ, Steph and I climbed Harney Peak. It was just magnificent. The weather was chilly and perfect and cloudless. It had been far too long since I'd been in the hills, and even longer since I'd hiked, (as I am reminded by my sore calves today,) so I was a very very happy girl to be out in the woods again. Following that I went to see King Kong with Nick and his family. Great movie. Monkies are just soooo cute! (Kidding! I'm kidding!!!!) I'd give it three thumbs up, if I had three thumbs. Thank goodness I don't, because that wouldn't be very attractive. Today I was supposed to have breakfast with a friend (whose name will go unmentioned, to protect the oversleepers.) She was unable to attend, so I unded up having coffee and bagels with Walt Whitman. Always a delight. Melissa and I had lunch at the Mediterranean restaraunt, (Mmmmm. Falafels.) and Nick and I had dinner at La Costa, so I've been eating multi-culturally. It's cheaper than a world tour.

Well, like I said, I'll be back on my grandparent's farm for a few days - eating, sleeping, eating, reading, eating, bungee jumping, eating, crocodile hunting, eating, gold mining, eating....

Until then, take care and stay out of trouble.

Our glorious tree, before we removed it from it's natural habitat.

...and to all, a good night.

You know life is good when your biggest dilemma is no milk for your Cap'n Crunch. No worries. I've got egg nog. Merry Christmas.

156 hours later...

A week ago I said I was starting that 20 page term paper and not quitting until I was finished. Well, now it's 2:24am, Friday of finals week, and I'm still not finished. I have to admit that I did take a few breaks, to sleep, and work, and drink some coffee, and sing, and hang out with Nick (just a few). But other than that, I've been working hard on school stuff for a week straight. Thank God, it will all be over, for better or worse, in just over 12 hours. I'll sleep then. Anyway, this entry brought to you by the NCSCSPAFPWTPW (National Counsel for the Sanity of College Seniors Pulling All-nighters to Finish Papers Which They Procrastinated Writing). Commercial break over. I'm back to work.

A little bit bittersweet.

Besides a short recording session this Tuesday afternoon, I am done with concert choir and MC for this semester. This is a relief, because in just the last week alone, I've put an estimated 27 hours into it. My voice is just shot. But it's also a little sad, because I'm one of those dumb sentimental people that cares that this is my last concert in the cathedral. While this probably means nothing to most of the people reading this, a few of you have had the opportunity of singing in a candlelight service in that huge, green marble nave, so you might know why I get a little choked up. It really is a very cool experience. There's no good way to try and describe it. Just one of those things you have to be there for. Don't worry. The choir will be there next year, and the year after that, and that year after that, so those of you that have never gotten in on the fun, fear not...you'll get another chance. Just put it on your list of things to do you before you die: candlelight Christmas carol service at the cathedral. Believe it or not, I'm still not done with all my semester projects. So I'm going to go to sleep now, and get up early and work on them. Or so the story goes. Night.

P.S. Natalie...this is Idaho Jon. Jon, this is Nat, whom I've spoken of before. There. Now you can be friends. :)

Let the good times roll!

Four pages on housing development policy. 20 pages on Canadian Judicial system. I'm starting now, and besides going to class here and driving back to Rapid and going to class there, I'm not stopping until I'm done. Anyone else who wants to participate in this paper-writing marathon shin-dig is welcome to contact me, and we can move the party to Perkins for the whole night. Bye.

RE: Today's Blizzard

I would like to offer a formal apology to anyone endangered, inconvenienced, or otherwise negatively affected by the angry snowstorm that blew through the area today, causing a large number of cancellations, closings, etc. (that would include nearly everyone in the state of South Dakota, and eastern Wyoming)

It was all my fault.

I confess that I did, in fact, at approximately 2 am this morning, petition God - in his great mercy - to use whatever means he felt necessary to delay my Program Planning & Eval semester presentation until next Monday, when I can be more prepared. I may have mentioned hazardous weather conditions in that prayer.

Bless His name. Classes this evening were cancelled. :) Once again, sorry about all that snow.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

It's the time of year when people sing carols and wrap gifts and decorate trees and are generally full of cheer. It's the time of year when I find myself just sitting down at the computer at midnight to work on various projects (that are due tomorrow) and eat microwaved "Michelina's Budget Gourmet Premium Cheese Manicotti with Marinara Sauce" (I've determined that by premium, they mean it has an extra 6 grams 0f saturated fat.) So kids, that what I'll be doing for a good three hours. Wish me luck.

So then SHE said...

I've decided to create the equivalent of a quote wall on my web page. Find it at http://www.tobethere.blogspot.com Contributions welcome from people I know and love. (That's pretty much all of you, I think.)

Live, from Dunn Bro's Coffee

Currently coveting my brothers laptop with wireless capabilities. It opens up a whole new world of coffee-shop-junkyism that didn't exist for me before. Unfortunately, I promised to return it to him tonight. I just spent the last two hours working on my Program Planning and Evaluation semester project. I have to present it on Monday night, and I'm not even close to being ready. I have a huge, expensive, idealistic NPO that I've created and have no idea how to pay for it. And the world of government grants is a scary, confusing one that I don't know how to navigate. This is my future! Whoohoo! Actually, I have no desire to be in a management position for a program like the one I'm creating. I'd rather be the "little guy" at the bottom of the ladder, and not deal with all this stuff. I'd rather deal first-hand with the drug addiction and behavioral problems than through the red-tape and bureaucracy and paperwork from a big desk. Anyway, I'm off to decorate a Christmas tree now. Much more enjoyable than NPO research. Joy.

What little I know...

I just spent two and a half hours writing an opinion paper on my proposals for welfare reform. This of course, is a useless paper because, as anyone who has ever studied social welfare for more than 10 minutes knows, barring a miracle, effective social welfare reform will never happen. Ever. What it boils down to is there are lots of poor people (for various reasons, various places of blame) and just not enough money. Nevermind that Americans spent a collective $8 billion + at retail stores on the day after Thanksgiving. So I take the money comment back. There is actually plenty of money. It's just a matter of what we do with it. The New Testament church had the right idea. They shared everything. People with more gave to the people with less and nobody lacked. Don't confuse this with socialism. In a socialist society, the government takes and distributes the money. In this NT community, the goverment didn't have to take, because people gave of their resources freely. If our entire country followed suit, we could have a utopic society, economically speaking. But is not going to happen, because we are selfish. I am selfish. I spend about $50 a month on coffee; enough to heat an elderly person's house for all of December. No matter how passionately I argue, the fact of the matter is that I don't require coffee for survival. Heat, on the other hand, is fairly important. And there are plenty of people who can't afford any this time of year. Anyhow, I have to get to class. The moral of this story is not to make you feel guilty about spending money on things you don't need (but if you do, that's your own issue, with your own conscience...haha) but just to say that when I'm a sociology professor, I won't force my students to write about "solutions" that they know aren't going to work anyway. I'll let them write about the depressiveness of hopeless situations, if they want. Haha.

Why psychologists are crazy people...

The more you learn about explaining behavior in other people, the more you use your self as your own personal case study, the more you can view your own neurosis objectively, the more you can know what you should do to fix or even just improve the situation, the more chances you have NOT to do what you know you should do, the more self-conflicted you become, the more crazy you get...it's a vicious cycle.

Right on schedule with the procrastination...

This semester is really catching up to me. Not that I didn't expect it to, it's always just a matter of "how close am I going to cut it this time?" Pretty close apparently. I just realized tonight that I haven't written a single paper yet this semester. I've taken a few tests, given one presentation, but not handed in a single paper. That's about to change. I think I have 8 due before finals week, which is quickly approaching. Awww...I'll make it. I always do...